Dirty Fucking Hippie

Month

June 2010

so. i’m training for my first triathlon, and in all honesty. its kicking my ass.

having been a competitive swimmer for most of my life, i have a leg up on most people in that part.

i run cross country and track, so that part will be no problem.

but then…there’s the bike. sure i can ride a bike around for fun…but put me on a speed bike and expect me to do sharp turns and pass through people in tight groups…needless to say it freaks me the hell out.

i’m tired. i’m sore. i’m ready to give up.

but i won’t.

Jun 29, 2010

welcome to my life.

my name is ashley, im a high school student in the middle of nowhere wisconsin, and life has a way of being hectic. unpredictable. and sometimes just stupid.

however. i am probably one of the most motivated people i know. i know what i want. i get it. by whatever means i posses. im going places in life, of this i am undoubtably certain.

facts about my life:

  1. i am extremely athletic.
  2. i run cross country and track.
  3. i used to be very overweight and struggled with my weight quite a bit.
  4. i am a very strongly opinionated person, but consider myself open-minded.
  5. showchoir consumes me.
  6. running is my anti-drug.
  7. my family is a little…dysfunctional.
  8. i dont believe in God.
  9. logic trumps faith and emotion for me.
  10. i am an attention whore. i crave it and thrive off of it.
  11. therefore, i dont believe in love..except the chemical reaction that occurs in your brain releasing oxytocin and adrenaline.
  12. i love to draw, but im not very good at it.
  13. my brother is THE most important person in my life.
  14. i love to write.
  15. one day, i will be an editor/writer.
  16. when im passionate about something…i put my heart and soul into it.
  17. ive never been good with trust or commitment.
  18. i dont understand the idea of marriage.
  19. i dont know how to deal with my emotions.
  20. im obnoxious. too loud. too outspoken.
  21. im creative. artistic. and loveable.
  22. i believe that we are given one life, so we need to live it to its full extent.
Jun 28, 2010

so im a runner. right? alright well you see. when your a runner…there is this thing. this feeling. this rush. its lovingly referred to as runner’s high. it is arguably the MOST beautiful feeling i have ever experienced. just imagine:

your running. pacing yourself. just fast enough to feel the strain in the sinew of your muscles. just slow enough to not have to concentrate on anything. to be alone with your thoughts. your absorbing all of the grace and accidental envious beauty around you. and its like it was put there. just for you. for you to enjoy, to keep you going as your pushing your body. heel toe. heel toe. crunch crunch. inhale. exhale. however. there does come a point when your done. you cant think. you cant speak. you can hardly breathe. this is when the rational person goes “oh my body is done. lets walk.” well..we’re not the rational types.

this is called The Wall. its horrid. once you hit it…well thats what weeds out the runners from the recreational joggers. you dont want to move your legs any further..but by some inner strength, you muster up the little bit of energy needed to jump clear over that terrific obstacle. you defy the orders your body is screaming at you. and once you pass that…well you feel like you may never need to stop.

after the wall. imagine…gold pavement. birds chirping and the sun radiating around you like a cliche love movie when the geeky guy is running through the streets dancing, professing his love for the way out of his league girl next door who consequently loves him back. you feel AMAZING. EUPHORIC. PHENOMENAL. this. this glorious feeling. is called runner’s high.

today. i hit the wall. i climbed it like a rugged marine annihilating basic training. and then i danced through the streets with the nerdy guy in a horrificly cliche montage of sweat and joy.

i then proceeded to collapse after the three miles. i need to keep working into shape…

Jun 14, 2010
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